My my, you're all beautiful.

Forgive me, Lord.

I'M USING IT.

YOU THINK YOU CAN BAN ME FOR POSTING MAN SEX?

But seriously, every one of my recent posts has been a spammy piece of shit, yet I still had to resort to this before the mods had the balls to ban me. I am a god among men.

If you were thinking Sidorio, you'd be right. Another acceptable answer would have been Lizzie Borden the 18th century axe murderer.

I haven't had a birthday thread since 2007 so I demand one to be made. Also, make it good. This is going to be my last one because I plan to kill myself on Hitler's birthday next year while screaming wishes of death to the infidels.

Also, I'm eighteen. This is probably the age at which it really becomes unacceptable to be as immature as I am. That's life for you.

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OH THANKS A LOT YOU FUCKING HEARTLESS N****RS LOOKS LIKE I DIDN'T DESERVE A BIRTHDAY THREAD AFTER ALL

I've never got an award before!

Suggest this to the Michael Jackson collection, you fucking faggots.

My gran has diabetes. Yesterday, I found myself in an appointment to see if I have it too, but I had to go to this hospital right on the other side of town to have the test done. I should have had the test done two weeks ago but I missed the appointment because I'd taken the wrong bus to the wrong area of Plymouth to a building which turned out not to exist, which was strange.

Since I missed that one, I had another one yesterday which I managed to make. I casually mentioned my funny location misunderstanding to the doctor while she took my blood. She didn't find it funny. She started asking me some strange questions about whether or not I sometimes find it hard to understand jokes or if I have odd thought processes. Things took a turn for the worse when she asked me about my spare time and my tongue slipped. I accidentally confessed to dressing up in my sisters clothes and dancing around my room pretending to be a velociraptor - which was a mistake anyway because I don't normally do those things at the same time.

She made a big deal out of this and made me spend the night in the hospital for more mental tests and anal probing, and which point they diagnosed me with 'mild autism'.

Discuss.

NO MORE WILL I MAKE GAY LITTLE NEWS POSTS. IT IS TIME FOR ME TO GET USED TO THE NEWGROUNDS ATMOSPHERE AND TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT NO MATTER THE COST.

But seriously, it shouldn't fucking matter if I'm leaving or not, because this whole fear I have of being forgotten is unfounded. I still remember users who've been gone for three years, and I'm sure you'll all remember me as the sexy beast I am if I do drift away. And anyway, you're all just pixels on a screen and I love you so.

But that's mostly besides the point because I've looked back over my previous news posts and discovered that people only seem to leave a lot of comments if I post something ABSOLUTELY OUTRAGEOUS. Ahem.

Sidorio - doing anything for attention since 2006. Honestly, there's something wrong with me.

Thought I should pop in to tell you that at the moment it looks quite probable that I'm going to stop coming to NG, since my original need to come here has gone completely and I'm drifting away. I'm not saying I'm leaving, but if I don't come back, thanks for everything you faggots.

Best believe it, bitch. Having previously stolen successful news posts from TheMaster and Tramps, I now turn my thieving skills to Gagsy. I think she may have actually deleted the post I'm stealing, which is good news for all involved, especially me.

Basically, you can ask me any question you like and I'll answer it truthfully or as truthfully as I can. I won't be a total lesbian about it like Gagsy though. Please, ask me lots of questions. I'm a massive stat whore and I want you to look at me.