Banta Claus banned me for saying "purple is for fags", but also told me that this was accurate statement. I made a joke thread about this and I'm banned for complaining, which I didn't do. This is an outrage. Homophobes are running our site and banning people who stand up to them. I feel like I'm in Zimbabwe or something, it's that bad.

BTW guys, I'm complaining.

Twas an ordinary day on the BBS. Many topics, but little to say. Until out of the depths, rose a small band of faggots, desperate to ruin the fun of the BBS by advertising their shitty flash in the hope that somebody would actually watch it.

Battle began immediately as an even larger band of faggots decided it was appropriate to down-vote the flash to the point where it was no longer recognised. The creators screamed in terror and cried with all the might in their body, accusing the warriors of being jerks and freaks with no lives, even down-voting their awesome flash right back at them - insults that bounced from their hardened skins.

The battle raged on, and the score went further and further down. From 3.55 to 2.37, yet the creators had not learned their lesson and continued to bitch. In it's dying screams, the flash unleashed levels of faggotry and Aids that had never before been seen. And then, it was blammed, faster than you could say 'lulz'.

A great achievement for all involved, I'd say. Although some faggy mod deleted it. Basically, for those of you who didn't get to see the wonders, me and a bunch of guys down-voted a flash that was being advertised on the BBS until it went down so much that it got deleted. But the creators deserved it since the co-authors were cocky enough to review the flash and give it tens.

Below is an artists impression of the battle. Seems accurate.

http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/10 02295

VOTE FOR ME OR I WON'T BEAT MY HIGHSCORE OF FOUR. PLEASE IGNORE THE FACT I'VE ONLY MADE ABOUT THREE POSTS THIS YEAR.

OR I'LL KILL MYSELF.

Hawt or nawt?

H: 11
N: 4

(Apparently a large amount of you are fags)

I myself am wondering as I type this, whether or not anybody really cares. But then I gave myself a good spanking and remembered that I'm awesome and everybody cares about my sexy flash. No doubt, people have been obsessively wondering what amazing masterpiece I will vomit out next. For that reason, I have made a sexy new blog post which is all about my future works. Oh, wow.

-------------------------

Sick Joke Collection VI
I don't actually have any plans to make this right now, since MrFinland said he didn't feel like it at the moment. This means I can't make it since it's been scientifically proven that I can't write them properly. Stay tuned though. The series may have been critically panned by Tom Fulp himself, but it's still cool.

Kids Still Love Pie
I've wanted to make this for ages, but I seem to have exhausted all cum-filled pie related plots. No ideas means no flash for now, but I'll get around to it.

Sunshine Meets B V
I'm wary that the title doesn't look very good, which is why I haven't made this yet. I also can't really think of a way to top the fourth one, which was completely ground breaking in flash technology. By the way, disregard the previous paragraph because I've submitted it.

<Generic Latin Title>
Coop83 said I should turn my attention to moving blocks, so that's what I'll do. My idea is for different coloured blocks (WOW) so I'm sure it'll be excellent when I can be bothered.

The Sexy Story Of Christmas
I have no idea what this will be about. It'll probably feature Jesus fighting ninjas or something.

Fuck Sachs's Grandaughter
Play as Russell Brand or Jonathan Ross and try to fuck Andrew Sachs's grandaughter without being caught. It'll be like one of those 'Meet N Fuck' games, but it'll actually be good. This flash is also completed and submitted, and blammed.

-------------------------

You may have noticed that they are nearly all sequels. No need to comment on my unoriginality, I'm aware of it.

Also in the news: Youtube doesn't like porn.

No joke. For some reason, I'd really love to give Samuel L. Jackson a hug.

This is the worst day of my life. The site has gayerised and my official bitcherist header evar has been deleted for being offensive. And I don't have it saved anywhere.

I believe this may be the work of Nixot, who got all pissy because I pretended to like little girls, so he reported me to to the admins and 'noncewatch', whatever the fuck that is.

My new super one was made by Doberman7, the sexy bitch. From this point on it's a house rule that you get jiggy with it whenever you view this page.

R.I.P
Bitcherist Header Evar
7/10/07 - 28/10/08

Ah, I know. V.2

I think Sidorio did.

So then, I'm sure many of you are aware that Tramps has made a big list of names and shit. However, it isn't just people he likes. It's just anybody who comments. This could potentially be the next big news post thing (remember the cool kids lists that everybody did for a bit?) so I'm going to copy it. Yes indeed.

By commenting, you automatically get added. I'm probably not going to be as nice as Tramps because I'm a faggot and don't like any of you.

--------------------------------------

MrFinland: Silly Fin n****r who orgasms every time he plays MGS4. Apparently he helped me make some flash or something, but I remember him most for his constant abuse of me every time I comment on his blog or he visits mine. Or when I PM him, or see him on the BBS. MORTAL ENEMIES 4 LYFE LOL

Jerry-Springer: Some guy who I wish hadn't left a comment because I can't think of anything to say.

Dan: Hey look, I called him by his real name! I must finally be one of the cool kids! Dan is actually the D-Lucks Edition of something, but I don't know what. He gave me a blowjob last year so I'd co-author him for 'Flash Playing Cards'. True story.

Doberman7: Whilst I was aware of her existence before 5th October 2008, it was only then that I realised how lulzy doberman7 is. We're also married, and have a beautiful son called awesomedaniel.

Mwmike: I sent him a generic PM once for no reason, and then we started talking about stuff. I can't remember what it was and I'm not checking my inbox. But he's a pretty cool guy.

TheMaster: One day he'll love me enough to call me by my real name. I don't think it'll be anytime soon though because I forget about nefr for several days at a time, and deleted all my Sunshine flash last year. And I can't remember if he's Sam or David.

CircleUMD: He's an alt, so he doesn't deserve a proper paragraph.

Mechabloby: I think I noticed him just after the redesign when all the fabbot stuff was going around. Generally a great guy, easy to talk to and able to shift between comic and serious posts. I can't think of anything nasty to end this paragraph with.

SCUD14: I recognise the name, but I can't work out where from. He's cool because he gave me latest flash a ten. I'm pretty sure he's good on the BBS too.

LOLZILLA: LOLZILLA sometimes comments on my page to call me a faggot. He has some top-notch flash though, and funny posts.

Carefaces: Hasn't get any flash or many posts but his favourite flash is 'Run Hitler Run' and he took a shit on the Popes face, so he must be cool.

Noodle144: Silly wankstain who can't take a joke and wants me to kill myself.

DaVeB1T: This is DaVeB0T's alt, so logically I should have done him afterwards. Silly me.

DaVeB0T: What I like about him is that he isn't the usual spammy type. Sure, he makes spam, but he isn't a retard who fills his page with faggotry and whatnot. Also, he makes good flash too (not that I have anything against the spam).

Tramps: One of my all time favourite posters. Really funny and able to switch between serious and lulzy posts easily. (That was almost more plagiarism, but he's deleted his list so I can't copy and paste his paragraph about me).

Shakyjake: I thought for a second that this was THE Jake, but then I viewed his profile and discovered him to be a wannabe faggot. 'Nuff said.

Lost-Chances: You know there are people that everybody seems to know except you? This guy is one of them. But I see him quite a lot on the BBS and I think he's funny. Maybe.

WikkiXS: A true king among men with red pantz who had no flash or BBS posts. For some reason, I like him. His name is Erik.

Deaththe14th: It's hard to write about people you don't know, this guy included. Posts a lot of useful stuff in the flash forum which would be cool if I cared about making good flash.

Richler: Another '07 user with barely any posts or flash who loves hentai. I don't know how they keep finding my page.

Spirosgod: A good guy, especially since he found that dildo rhino picture I haven't seen since I was thirteen. I also have PM conversations with him, but not really about anything.

Kisame: Massive whore who constantly begs me to comment on his user page or have discussions about penis length via the PM system.

LordZeebmork: It's his birthday on the 12th. I believe I may have voted for him as 'Rookie Of The Year' in 2007, so he must be okay.

ShadowWest: Has over 5000 BBS posts, but he must have made them all while I was offline because I've never seen him before. A fan of poop (of the youtube variety, he pretends) and has a username which I wish I'd chosen if I wasn't hetrosexual.

Lare: A ninja. Yes, a real ninja, just like me. I'm also a ninja, so by that call we should be enemies or something. Unless ninjas are friends and only enemies with pirates, but that's gay. We're enemies.

DgsGaming: Knows how I talk and sing. A cool sort of person, and I'm basing that on the one time I saw him on the forums so it must be true. But actually, he did make me laugh so this isn't an entirely wasted paragraph.

Sticky: A dude who makes good flash and likes Doctor Who. But, wait...he hasn't made any flash in six months. So he isn't cool. He's very lazy and doesn't deserve a well written paragraph.

Colombiana: When I saw this guys name and the comment he left, I was all like "hey this guy might actually be cool". But then I clicked his name and I was all like "oh".

Wraith2000: See the above comment. I was feeling so lazy when I wrote this that I didn't even check his posts or favourites. But he only has sixty-six posts so he can't be cool because stats are the most important things in the world.

ElDavid: Mexican crybaby who doesn't like the blam system, presumably because M-Bot deleted one of his reviews and forced him to slit his wrists with a butter knife.

Ashfrupt: Absolute god. His mature comments have really made me realise that I need to grow up and start taking the interwebs super seriously.

SnawsBall: He first came to my attention when he gave one of my flash a detailed negative review. That was weird, since most people don't bother to actually explain why I have shit flash. There was a bit of a PM shitstorm but now I think he's a good guy and we're on good terms.

RohantheBarbarian: I don't know, seems like a fine fellow. Likes cars and whistles. Signed up half a year ago and still has far more worthwhile flash than me.

Darknessdweller: Self hating fourteen year old who wants to kill all the Jews and the Nazis. (That's not a joke). I seem to remember he used to post "darknessdweller waz here" or something like that all that time, but I may just be lying. SIGNED UP UNDERAGE OMG

Yoshio: Awesome motherfucker who passed my stupid flash. Has plenty of great flash himself too and celebrated Pokemon Day with style.

Knightsofthecircle: As you may have guessed, I normally only say nasty things about people I've never met. But this guy actually seems alright. I'm a little pissed that his name isn't capitalised for some reason.

Splurda: I'm also married to Splurda, but it's not anything mormon. Definitely not. A fine fellow who frolicks around NG and does stuff involving the BBS and flash and I'm too lazy to write this properly.

RobotTaco: Has so many comments on his user page that my shitty interwebs crashed. Because of this I can't tell you what kind of person he is, but he said he loves me so he's probably 100% pure awesome.

Boring news post about my life. Featuring barely any comments because nobody likes hearing this shit. AND NOW FOR SEVERAL UNINTERESTING PARAGRAPHS.

I now work at TK MAXX. I went to the interview today, was offered the job about an hour later. Don't be fooled though, this is just part-time. I really am a serial killer. No joke.

I don't have any ideas for flash. Most of my stuff lately is 'sequels', if you can call them that. I have so much spare time that I could make anything, as long as it's rubbish and easy to make.

I don't visit the forums much anymore. I now go in bursts, where I make all of my weeks posts in one night and don't come back for ages. I've also become a much better and much worse poster than I was a year ago. My grammer and understanding of the forums has improved, which has led to nearly all of my posts becoming spammy one-liners.

Mindchamber has banned me from his page because I jokingly said my flash were better than his. I have no idea how he failed to see the joke, since I'm a fan of both his Madness Day submissions. This brings up my bans to about five.

I've been senting loads of PMs to people saying 'hello' and nothing else, just to see how they react. Most of them are very friendly, which is nice to see.

And that's all. You can wake up now.